What was your worst experience while living with roommates?
07.06.2025 02:53
Anyway, he came and stayed, and we had to put a futon in the tiny upstairs alcove where he could sleep. He did indeed overstay his welcome and she neglected to tell me until it was too late. We only had one living area, and he hated having the TV on, so I had to watch my shows upstairs in my room.
I had only two conditions prior to moving in together: she had to get a job (she was currently living on welfare of her own choice) and that her dad wasn’t allowed to stay over. I had nothing against him, but he often overstayed his welcome and caused my best friend distress. I then said that if these conditions were broken or not met, then I was going to leave. She knew this from the moment I agreed to move in with her.
Sounds pretty simple, right?
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I stopped in the middle of the car park. “You bought a new guitar with the rent money? The rent money that I put in there two weeks ago?”
She told me not to worry and that she’d pay it back by the time the rent was due. I asked her how in the hell was she going to reimburse the account over $400 when she didn’t even have a job? She said she was going to ask her mum for the money and not to worry. Her mum was not well off by any means, but I left the ball in her court and said that the money better be back in that account by the eighteenth and hung up.
She said that her ADHD didn’t allow her to just get up and out of bed and I suppose that’s why I let a lot of things slide, but I digress.
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Before I moved in, she promised me that I could park my car in the tandem garage and that she would park hers on the street, since I drove a Mercedes Benz and she had a beat-up Ford Territory. But before her old roommate left, she decided on a whim to buy his beat-up Toyota Celica that couldn’t start and was adamant that she was going to fix it up and sell it and even go do a free TAFE course to learn how to work on cars. She had no experience nor any tools so I thought it was ridiculous but supported her anyway and gave up the garage space. She never ended up going to TAFE and the car sat in the garage, untouched.
This didn’t happen. She just let the cats out together, said she forgot, and mine started bullying and attacking hers because hers was a complete menace and was stressing mine out.
In the end I had to patch a few areas of peeled paint on the walls, get rid of some carpet stains, clean up the cat piss, get rid of the rubbish as well as organise and pay for the steam-cleaning of the carpets despite having lost my job a few days before I was scheduled to move in to my new place.
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I was itching to move out of home as a 29 year old who was single and putting herself out there, so when my best friend asked me to move in with her once her awful roommate left, I jumped at the chance; it was in the same suburb, I could bring my cat with me, and I could easily afford my share of the rent.
We are still best friends to this day; however I recently refused to let her stay with me and my boyfriend for 2 weeks “until she found a job” after leaving her mum’s house after an argument and she hasn’t spoken to me since.
So, that’s what I did.
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Another time, she had some of her online gaming friends come interstate for a Harry Styles concert. I was given a ticket even though I didn’t care for his music. She planned to hang out with them all week while I was at work and I didn’t mind so long as they kept the house clean and left at a reasonable time as I had to get up early in the mornings for work.
Before we moved in, I stressed that we needed to introduce our cats properly to make sure they got along since mine was female and hers was male. She swore that since she would be home all the time that she could do it properly by introducing them through the doors and letting them each roam the house while the other was in our respective bedroom.
When I would ask her how the job hunt was coming along, her response changed to “Why is it any business of yours where I get my money? As long as I pay my share on time, its none of your business.”
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I called my mum, crying and angry, told her everything and asked what to do. My mum was never one to beat around the bush and she told me to move out as soon as possible, and that if I needed the money, everyone was willing to chip in and help out.
To add insult to in jury, they barely even touched the food and looked less than impressed about it.
A month later, I was out buying some cat food and cat litter. It was two days before payday, so I decided that I was going to take $10 out of the rent account that we opened together to pay for it and then put it back once I got paid. I didn’t like doing it, but it was only done as a last resort, and only ever in small amounts.
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We found a few within our budget and agreed on the ones to apply for. I then woke up the next morning to a barrage of texts with new rental listings, and more about finding new roommates and finding a bigger house with five bedrooms and all this other crap about having lots more space and paying less rent and that she was already in the process of screening for new potential roommates.
The next night they came over and were loud. I texted her a few times at around 11pm to keep it down and that they should leave because I have work in the morning. They stayed until 2am and I only got a half-assed sorry as an apology.
When I moved in, I told her that I needed a dedicated study/office as I worked from home two days per week. That meant turning the spare downstairs bedroom into a study where I could work and she could also game on her computer since her set-up was crammed into her bedroom. My WFH set-up wouldn’t fit in my bedroom or in the living area, so we agreed to sell the old bedroom furniture (which was actually my old bedroom furniture to begin with) and turn it into a study.
I called her in a panic and told her about the missing money. Do you know what she told me?
She blew up at me and was beyond pissed off that I was just going to leave her high and dry without talking about it with her first. I stood my ground and laid out everything that had pushed me to this point and mentioned the only two conditions I had were either not met or broken, and that I was going to leave.
Next, she approached me about her dad coming to visit and stay over for a few days. I asked her how that was going to happen since we didn’t have a spare bedroom anymore. She then said that this was the exact reason why she didn’t want to get rid of the spare bedroom in the first place. I asked her how it is fair if she got to keep a room for her dad (who only came once every couple of months) while I had to cram my things into my bedroom, which wouldn’t even fit anyway? She said that she wanted a room for when her parents would come and stay.
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We then received a lease renewal that showed a significant rent increase - one that she couldn’t afford being on welfare. So we decided to look at other places together that fit both our criteria; that I got a dedicated office/study and she got a spare room for her parents.
She confronted me about being upset with her and I just lost it. I screamed and yelled at her, calling her out for every shit thing she did from the moment I moved in up until this point. She yelled back but I refused to listen and went for a walk instead.
I didn’t like that at all, but didn’t know how else to approach it. So, I let it slide.
The first night, she cooks a huge four course meal for them (god only knows why they just couldn’t get a fucking pizza) and leaves the entire kitchen covered in dirty dishes and food. I refused to clean it in the beginning but my new boyfriend was going to come over mid-week and I would’ve been mortified if he had seen the mess. I eventually cleaned it up but she had the audacity to get mad at me for not cleaning straight away. I said that it was her mess and since she didn’t have a job that she could’ve cleaned it.
She got angry and went home to visit her mum for a few weeks. During this time, the plumbing was backing up and causing us a lot of issues and due to her OCD she wasn’t going to come back until it was resolved. I was glad to have some time away from her and the ability to enjoy a clean house for a change.
To be perfectly honest, I didn’t care what kind of job she got as long as she had one. The cost of living was increasing and I told her that I would feel more at ease if she got a casual or part-time job since after she paid rent and bills with her welfare payment she only had about $1.50 left to her name. In the beginning she was all for it and swore that she would get one, but she never even looked.
I panicked and went into the transaction history because I know I put my share in there two weeks ago and that there should still be some in there. The transactions were erratic - some from a McDonalds, Starbucks, a petrol station, a JB HiFi and a music shop. My next thought was that she had lost the bank card for that account and that someone out there was spending the money.
Needless to say, I was pissed off.
Her response? “Semantics. We can work that out later.”
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I told her to stop and asked her about the places we spent all weekend looking at? She said that she didn’t want to do that anymore and instead wanted to find a bigger place with 5 bedrooms and with 2 or 3 extra roommates instead, saying that we could have more space and that they would just stay in their rooms. I told her that more people meant more rules, and that we had to consider other people and their lives aside from ours. I also told her that I didn’t want more roommates for a number of reasons; that I didn’t trust them to pay on time, I didn’t trust them to clean up, I didn’t trust them to not bring over unsavoury people, and that I especially didn’t trust them around my stuff and to not let my cat outside.
“Oh, I was with dad for the day so I decided to shout both of us some food, coffee and petrol for his van. I also went and bought a guitar.”
When Christmas break rolled around, we both went back to our hometown to spend time with our families. She left before me, but before I left I made sure the house was spotless - I cleaned the kitchen, swept and mopped the floors, tidied up, and took the rubbish out. She didn’t lift a finger to help in any way and just packed her bag and left.
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She came back the day before I did, and from the moment I walked in the front door, there was stuff everywhere - a literal trail of rubbish and clothes went up the stairs and the kitchen was in complete disarray. Stuff was tossed on the floor, rubbish bags were stacked in the meals area, and the kitchen table was crowded with clothes and junk.
I started applying for places within my budget and quickly found a lovely 3 bedroom townhouse in the next suburb over for less rent than what I was paying here. I got accepted within 24 hours of applying (which is very rare in the Australian rental market) and told her that I was leaving.
One passed suddenly after complications from heart surgery and the other lost her fourth battle with breast cancer. I wasn’t doing well mentally, and was beginning to resent her for not pulling her weight, not controlling her cat, and spending the rent money when it wasn’t there for spending - which she continued to do and resulted in us needing to borrow over a thousand dollars from her mum to pay rent one month. I was also dealing with some stomach and bowel issues and was scheduled for both an endoscopy and colonoscopy that I was very nervous about.
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This is a long one but worth the read…
I barely got a thank-you from her or her mum and we didn’t speak for six months until she called me one night crying because her cat had died.
I said that respectfully, they don’t pay rent, so why do they get a dedicated bedroom and I have to cram everything upstairs in my room or into the living area? This was my house just as much as it was hers and that me needing an office was not an unreasonable ask. Her mum was only two hours away by car, and her dad frequently travelled the country in his caravan since he didn’t own a home. I tried to compromise by offering to go halves in a pull-out couch for that room but she refused.
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She had a habit of staying up all night and creating mess, especially in the kitchen. So I suggested a chore chart to equally divide the housework and she flat-out refused, stating that we just had to clean as we went. I told her that when I came back from work, the house was still left a mess if not worse than when I left it and that while she slept the day away, I was the one who had to clean up, do all the chores, and cook dinner.
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I flat out said no and that I wasn’t going to talk about this anymore. She then complained that I was being difficult by not letting her show me the bigger picture and I said that she was being difficult by thinking that I would just agree to this without talking about it to me first.
My old roommate was my best friend of 20 odd years.
I get to the checkout and when I opened the banking app, there was zero dollars in the rent account.
All of this took place over 4 months.
Again, she left to go back home to her mum and we had to break the lease two weeks early so I could move in to my new place on time. She came once to get her stuff and we barely spoke. She took the fridge, the TV, and everything else that was hers and left me with my desk, my bed, and the new couch I had bought. I couldn’t store any cold food in the house and lived on take-away and pantry snacks until the plumbing issue got so bad that I had to go stay on my sister’s couch for two weeks.